Critical Investigation tutorial - second draft
- A good second draft – definite improvement but some areas still need a bit of work
- Written English is much better for two pages but then slips back – look over this carefully.
- Introducing quotes is still an area to look at; same for topic sentences.
- You definitely need to cut the essay down a little – too long.
- Lacking media/feminist theory. I said this in your original feedback: Butler, McRobbie, van Zoonen, Dyer (power and stereotypes), Gerbner’s cultivation theory (media effects), the Jean Killbourne video this week. Where are they in the essay?
- Ending needs work – I’d re-write the final paragraph.
- Copy and paste this feedback into a new blogpost on your MEST4 coursework blog called 'Critical Investigation tutorial – second draft’.
- Your immediate priority needs to be the Linked Production: this is worth 32 marks.
- When you have a Linked Production in draft form, return to this essay with fresh eyes and look to make three or four key improvements before submitting the final draft.
- Your final deadline is immediately after the Easter holiday: Wednesday 19 April.
Personal Targets
- Make my topic sentences stronger so that I do not contradict myself half way through the paragraph
- Incorporate more theory into the essay
- Do linked production planning (1st March)
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