Critical Investigation tutorial - second draft

  •  A good second draft – definite improvement but some areas still need a bit of work
  • Written English is much better for two pages but then slips back – look over this carefully.
  •  Introducing quotes is still an area to look at; same for topic sentences.
  • You definitely need to cut the essay down a little – too long.
  • Lacking media/feminist theory. I said this in your original feedback: Butler, McRobbie, van Zoonen, Dyer (power and stereotypes), Gerbner’s cultivation theory (media effects), the Jean Killbourne video this week. Where are they in the essay?
  • Ending needs work – I’d re-write the final paragraph.
  •  Copy and paste this feedback into a new blogpost on your MEST4 coursework blog called 'Critical Investigation tutorial – second draft’.
  • Your immediate priority needs to be the Linked Production: this is worth 32 marks.
  • When you have a Linked Production in draft form, return to this essay with fresh eyes and look to make three or four key improvements before submitting the final draft.
  • Your final deadline is immediately after the Easter holiday: Wednesday 19 April.

Personal Targets

  1. Make my topic sentences stronger so that I do not contradict myself half way through the paragraph 
  2. Incorporate more theory into the essay
  3. Do linked production planning (1st March)



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Notes and Quotes updated (23/11/2016)

Critical Investigation Tutorial (23rd November)

DRAFT 2 - Critical Investigation